JOMAMA AND SANTA
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Florida the " Toll state"

3/29/2015

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Hi kids sorry this blog is so late. This has been a party state. I usually blog when it's raining and it doesn't seem to rain here. I guess you don't want to here about that! 
I call this the "toll" state for 2 reasons. It definitely takes a toll on you and at every corner there is a toll booth. In the picture you can see me mailing a check to the state of Florida for the 12 cents. I was short on one of their glorious bridges.I called the Florida DOT the day after the incident and yes the fine Floridian gentleman I talked to indicated that yes! I needed to mail in the 12 cents or face a 100.00 dollar fine. I felt like telling him the story about Alice's restaurant (Arlo Guthrie). So now I'm into this toll for a check and a 45 cent stamp. So the next day we make a wrong turn which forces us to get off and ...yes pay a 50 cent toll. So if that's not bad enough the princess tosses two quarters like Shaquille O'neal trying to make a foul shot and completely misses the basket. So we dip into our life savings for two more quarters so we can get back on the other side to pay 50 cents more to get back on this thing they call a FREEWAY! No wonder Florida has no state tax they are rich from all the snowbirds tossing quarters.  

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 I found a great way to fool the park rangers. If you are at a park that does not permit partaking in adult beverage consumption. Simply create a corn Koozie like the one in this picture. When you are approached by the ranger explain to him that you are drinking a can of corn. It's so easy you could call it "A can of corn".

 

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   Santa missed the party bus and when we got back from the wedding he was waiting for us at the door. He was not a happy camper! Bill and Kathleen flew off to Ireland and Jomama and crew drove to a RV resort in Arcadia,Fla. This place was great and gave us two free nights,full hookups,a box of cookies and free head covers for all of our golf clubs. Well maybe not the head covers.
We left Arcadia and headed to visit some friends in North Port, Fla.
Our hosts were very hospitable and took us in like we were one of their family. We learned all kinds of new things and new words like 
Vodeo-do, sucka-wucka, huffa-puffa. We learned that viagra has an expiration date. But you can just take two instead. We learned that at a certain age people like to talk about sex more than actually having sex.
All kidding aside we had a great time and look forward to partying with George,Anna P,Jeff and Linda this summer! 



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Well while everyone at home had Jack frost nipping at their nose Santa was roasting his chestnuts off. His clothes are glued on and so the swim suit was definitely not fitting. In the picture above you can see what happened to Jomama when he stayed in the sun too long!
Thanks Barb Kessler for the chestnuts idea!  

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 In the south they like to blacken all kinds of food. Blackened sea bass,salmon,crayfish,blue fish,catfish. You name it they can blacken it. So for a little different taste one night I showed them my blackened Bratwurst. Grill kinda got away from me that night! 

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See if you can find the alligator in this picture. We were on the tee-box at a TPC golf course in Tampa and I decided to look over in the lily pads. I finally saw my gator! Hint ...he is on the edge getting ready to eat me when suddenly he noticed my legs lost his appetite and went under the water.
Well we are finally out of Florida and heading to New Mexico. I will leave you with another slide show. So remember when the going gets tough take two pills instead of one. We are in Texas now and I think we are going to see George Bush tomorrow.   

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off to the land of the leprechauns and a St. Patty's day wedding

3/13/2015

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 We arrived in Pinellas County, Fla on Saturday March 7. Ten days should be more than enough time to warm up the liver for what should be a great St. Patrick's day wedding. After 3 days I'm convinced we have found our soul-mate drinking buddies(just kidding). We are staying in Fort DeSoto park. Way to many rules...no alcohol,no more than 6 people on site at any time,no fires,curfew at 10 all visitors must leave. We followed almost all the rules. Guess which one we broke? Of course we broke the one about " visitors have to leave by 10". See what happened was 7 of us tried to put out the fire with beer and it took us till 10:05 pm to get that damn fire out.
    

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 Getting here was fun. Especially all the trips to Wal-Mart. We go to that place more on the road then when we are at home. I of course needed more golf balls. I forgot my trimmer so I look like grizzly Adams buy a trimmer. Princess forgot the trip was going to Florida and needs to dump the flannel pajamas. But most important of all was I needed to pick up a small blind spot mirror for the passenger side. At least that's what the cop who I ran off the road said I needed. Yes I actually went to move to right lane did not see him at all. He flew into berm then flew back out and pulled my sorry ass over. He was as scared as me and Karen. Nice guy though must have liked my selection of music and just scolded me and told me to go to Walmart. I think they got bigger fish to fry down here. Lesson learned...always have Frank Sinatra on radio and know where your local Walmart is.      

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 Funny story..oh really. After 3 weeks it's time to do laundry. Bill drops us off in the hood assures us that we will be safe and don't worry to much about the let's say lack of whites in the area. This place took credit cards for payment. We loaded up 6 front loaders and started to do the dirty. 
There was actually a restaurant down the street called POFOLKS.
Here's where it gets funny we get done and Karen gives the laundry Mama her American Express. Apparently if you have an American Express card in this neighborhood you are RICH and when it gets approved fast you are VERY RICH. At least that's what Mama told us. As you can see in the picture we kind of ran out of the hood before we were dry.

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 So we wake up Monday and I go online to pay some bills. One of the bills due was a life insurance policy. So I pay the premium and we go on with our day. Obviously the benefactor on the policy is my beloved princess. Now this is where it gets a little interesting. Suddenly our plans for the day are to go to the ocean(not sure which one) and FISH! All of my readers probably know that even the word " fish" sends me into a panic search for Benadryl. 
No worries readers..she doesn't know how to dump the tanks in the camper.So I'm safe for now.
Jomama's Irish blessing 
So..may your cup be full of cheer and we never fear the day when we won't be here...enjoy today!
Watch the slide show!

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    Jomama age 66 total lunatic never diagnosed. Co conspirator Santa age unknown. 

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